Part of our mission here at Only In Nebraska has always been to show you the unknown, underrated, and underappreciated parts of our state. But it’s been pointed out over and over again by our readers that we should stop telling everyone how great Nebraska is because we don’t want it overrun with people. In the (silly, sarcastic, and not at all serious) spirit of keeping people away, here are some good reasons not to visit these places in Nebraska.
- Long Pine
Facebook/Hidden Paradise, Long Pine Nebraska
Facebook/Hidden Paradise, Long Pine Nebraska Long Pine is Nebraska’s best-kept secret, so you definitely don’t want to go there. That would be like letting the secret out, right? Read more about it here - just don’t tell anyone.
- Nebraska City
Arbor Day Farm
flickr/Caitlyn Willows This town is crawling with history lovers and nature enthusiasts, so our suggestion is to stay far away. Especially in the fall, when everyone will try to get you to eat apples fresh off of the trees. You can read about it here, if you really want to.
- Crawford
flickr/J. Stephen Conn
TripAdvisor/123sab Let’s just make this easy for you: the scenery in and around Crawford is way too beautiful to make it a place you’d want to visit. All that natural beauty is just too much to handle. Read about it here, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.
- North Platte
City of North Platte
By Ammodramus (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons I guess North Platte is ok if you like history and trains…but nobody really does, right? Buffalo Bill’s ranch and the Golden Spike Tower are both pretty dull - just drive right by and don’t bother stopping in. Read about the city’s winter celebration here (but don’t worry - it’s already over for 2016 holiday season).
- Fairbury
By Ammodramus (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
By Ammodramus (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons You’ll want to give Fairbury a wide berth when you drive by it. You might be pulled in by its adorable main street and beautiful old buildings, and before you know it you will have spent a whole afternoon there. No time for that - move it along! Educate yourself on the dangers of this sweet little town right here.
- Red Cloud
flickr/Jimmy Emerson DVM
Willa Cather Foundation Red Cloud is full of historic buildings, a big memorial prairie, and a tight-knit community. Don’t go here if you hate history or literature, because Red Cloud is the home of Willa Cather and the inspiration for many of her books. You can read more about it here.
- Ogallala
flickr/Jessie Bhangoo
flickr/Dave Clark Ogallala is basically just a distraction on your way to Lake McConaughy, so don’t bother to give it another thought. All you’ll find there is a bunch of cowboy history and one of the most unusual museums in the state, anyway. Don’t believe me? Read here about why this is just the most boring place ever.
- Wilber
Wilber Area Chamber of Commerce
flickr/David Williss Ok, Wilber, we get it. You’re adorable and like a little island of Eastern Europe in Nebraska. Plus, some of the public signs are in a different language. If I wanted to visit Europe I’d get on a plane. Definitely don’t stop by Wilber when you’re in the area, but you can read about why it’s the worst here.
- Ord
Facebook/Ord, Nebraska
flickr/Tim O’Brien Oh, Ord likes to pretend that it’s out there in the middle of the state doing nothing…but we know the truth. We know all about the beautiful green spaces and lovely architecture. And we want nothing to do with it. Read about why you should stay far away from Ord here.
- Valentine
Wikimedia/Ammodramus
TripAdvisor/Jackie77 Ugh, where do we even start with Valentine? It’s adorable, first of all, which no one likes. It’s also surrounded by gorgeous nature, and if you go to the National Wildlife Refuge, you might even have to look at a bison herd. There’s more about Valentine here.
- Bellevue
flickr/Jimmy Emerson DVD
City of Bellevue The walking trails, the beautiful parks, the great schools, the proximity to Omaha and historic Plattsmouth…it all adds up to one city that you just really don’t need to visit. You’re welcome to pass over the toll bridge and give them a dollar, though. All of the terrible details about Bellevue are here.
Well, there you have it. These towns are all bad news – we’re just happy we could be here to stop you from visiting any of them.
Facebook/Hidden Paradise, Long Pine Nebraska
Long Pine is Nebraska’s best-kept secret, so you definitely don’t want to go there. That would be like letting the secret out, right? Read more about it here - just don’t tell anyone.
Arbor Day Farm
flickr/Caitlyn Willows
This town is crawling with history lovers and nature enthusiasts, so our suggestion is to stay far away. Especially in the fall, when everyone will try to get you to eat apples fresh off of the trees. You can read about it here, if you really want to.
flickr/J. Stephen Conn
TripAdvisor/123sab
Let’s just make this easy for you: the scenery in and around Crawford is way too beautiful to make it a place you’d want to visit. All that natural beauty is just too much to handle. Read about it here, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.
City of North Platte
By Ammodramus (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons
I guess North Platte is ok if you like history and trains…but nobody really does, right? Buffalo Bill’s ranch and the Golden Spike Tower are both pretty dull - just drive right by and don’t bother stopping in. Read about the city’s winter celebration here (but don’t worry - it’s already over for 2016 holiday season).
By Ammodramus (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
You’ll want to give Fairbury a wide berth when you drive by it. You might be pulled in by its adorable main street and beautiful old buildings, and before you know it you will have spent a whole afternoon there. No time for that - move it along! Educate yourself on the dangers of this sweet little town right here.
flickr/Jimmy Emerson DVM
Willa Cather Foundation
Red Cloud is full of historic buildings, a big memorial prairie, and a tight-knit community. Don’t go here if you hate history or literature, because Red Cloud is the home of Willa Cather and the inspiration for many of her books. You can read more about it here.
flickr/Jessie Bhangoo
flickr/Dave Clark
Ogallala is basically just a distraction on your way to Lake McConaughy, so don’t bother to give it another thought. All you’ll find there is a bunch of cowboy history and one of the most unusual museums in the state, anyway. Don’t believe me? Read here about why this is just the most boring place ever.
Wilber Area Chamber of Commerce
flickr/David Williss
Ok, Wilber, we get it. You’re adorable and like a little island of Eastern Europe in Nebraska. Plus, some of the public signs are in a different language. If I wanted to visit Europe I’d get on a plane. Definitely don’t stop by Wilber when you’re in the area, but you can read about why it’s the worst here.
Facebook/Ord, Nebraska
flickr/Tim O’Brien
Oh, Ord likes to pretend that it’s out there in the middle of the state doing nothing…but we know the truth. We know all about the beautiful green spaces and lovely architecture. And we want nothing to do with it. Read about why you should stay far away from Ord here.
Wikimedia/Ammodramus
TripAdvisor/Jackie77
Ugh, where do we even start with Valentine? It’s adorable, first of all, which no one likes. It’s also surrounded by gorgeous nature, and if you go to the National Wildlife Refuge, you might even have to look at a bison herd. There’s more about Valentine here.
flickr/Jimmy Emerson DVD
City of Bellevue
The walking trails, the beautiful parks, the great schools, the proximity to Omaha and historic Plattsmouth…it all adds up to one city that you just really don’t need to visit. You’re welcome to pass over the toll bridge and give them a dollar, though. All of the terrible details about Bellevue are here.
(This is, of course, all in good fun. Do visit all of these towns, and more!)
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