As much as Arkansans want to be the most warm and welcoming people in the world, we maybe have a little attitude about folks moving to our state. There has to be a happy medium between being excited to share our love of the Natural State and being endlessly frustrated by the things we find less than appealing about newcomers, right? I propose a solution. Let’s send this list of a dozen things we wish we could say to newcomers to our new neighbors. That way, we can stay polite about the things we’d never really say to anyone anyway and still get the point across.
- Don’t litter.
Flickr/Dave Thomas We’re so glad you’re enjoying the enchanting outdoor spaces of the Natural State. Now please, pack out what you pack in.
- And please keep the water clean.
Flickr/Mike Norton We value our waterways, and we don’t want you to leave them a mess. It’s easy, really. Don’t throw your trash in the lake.
- Your jokes are not funny.
Flickr/theilr If you’d be embarrassed to tell that one joke you know about Arkansans to your granny, you ought to think twice about telling it to an Arkansan. We’re not amused.
- We’re fine, thanks.
Flickr/Oakley Originals No Arkansan has ever been walking around wishing that someone would pity them for being from Arkansas. We’re pretty proud of our home state, actually.
- Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.
Flickr/Kirk K. At least give fried veggies a chance. And gravy, too. All the well-made gravies will make your taste buds happy.
- Arkansas isn’t only the Ozarks.
Flickr/uacescomm We also have the Ouachitas. And the Delta. The Ozarks are lovely, but so is the rest of the state.
- Please stop being shocked that we’re so friendly.
Flickr/Walmart No one has an ulterior motive for letting you cut the line in Walmart to pay for your single gallon of milk. I promise. Go ahead. No one is going to stab you or ask for your firstborn as payment. We will not, as the grannies say, “take it out of your hide.” We’re just nice.
- Maybe rethink that cuss word you’re about to say loudly and in public.
Wikimedia/Mobilus In Mobili Don’t get me wrong, some of us can cuss up a storm under the right circumstances, but we’d rather not have to explain that word to our children . . . or mammaw.
- Arkansas is the most beautiful place in the world.
Flickr/AR Nature Gal Don’t believe that? Hop in the car, darlin’, let us drive you to our favorite spots.
- Be careful out there.
Flickr/Dan Thibodeaux Yes, it’s all beautiful, but you need to know where you are and stay safe.
- We don’t need to hear how little you think of our state.
Flickr/libraryrachel You moved here for a job or school? Great! I’m so glad you’re here! How’s your job or school going? So happy to hear that!
See, that’s how our side of the conversation should look. Pictured: our faces when you go on and on about chicken houses or your boredom with rural life.
- Welcome home.
Flickr/LearningLark So you’ve decided to call the Natural State home. We’re glad you’re here, and we’re happy to help you out however we can. Having said that, if you could please review items 1-11 on this list before you come over for dinner, that would be great.
If you’re looking for more things to send to newcomers, send them this list of dos and dont’s and this list of things they might find surprising. This one here is for the tourists.
Flickr/Dave Thomas
We’re so glad you’re enjoying the enchanting outdoor spaces of the Natural State. Now please, pack out what you pack in.
Flickr/Mike Norton
We value our waterways, and we don’t want you to leave them a mess. It’s easy, really. Don’t throw your trash in the lake.
Flickr/theilr
If you’d be embarrassed to tell that one joke you know about Arkansans to your granny, you ought to think twice about telling it to an Arkansan. We’re not amused.
Flickr/Oakley Originals
No Arkansan has ever been walking around wishing that someone would pity them for being from Arkansas. We’re pretty proud of our home state, actually.
Flickr/Kirk K.
At least give fried veggies a chance. And gravy, too. All the well-made gravies will make your taste buds happy.
Flickr/uacescomm
We also have the Ouachitas. And the Delta. The Ozarks are lovely, but so is the rest of the state.
Flickr/Walmart
No one has an ulterior motive for letting you cut the line in Walmart to pay for your single gallon of milk. I promise. Go ahead. No one is going to stab you or ask for your firstborn as payment. We will not, as the grannies say, “take it out of your hide.” We’re just nice.
Wikimedia/Mobilus In Mobili
Don’t get me wrong, some of us can cuss up a storm under the right circumstances, but we’d rather not have to explain that word to our children . . . or mammaw.
Flickr/AR Nature Gal
Don’t believe that? Hop in the car, darlin’, let us drive you to our favorite spots.
Flickr/Dan Thibodeaux
Yes, it’s all beautiful, but you need to know where you are and stay safe.
Flickr/libraryrachel
You moved here for a job or school? Great! I’m so glad you’re here! How’s your job or school going? So happy to hear that!
See, that’s how our side of the conversation should look. Pictured: our faces when you go on and on about chicken houses or your boredom with rural life.
Flickr/LearningLark
So you’ve decided to call the Natural State home. We’re glad you’re here, and we’re happy to help you out however we can. Having said that, if you could please review items 1-11 on this list before you come over for dinner, that would be great.
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