I think Arizona is awesome, hands down, end of story. Maybe it’s because I think this land is a diamond in the rough, maybe it’s because I’ve never lived anywhere else, or maybe it’s because I hate myself. Who knows?

But I can say that I hesitate to make that kind if statement out loud though because it seems to invite all the weirdos out of the woodwork. You know them, the ones living in a land of ice and snow, currently enduring a -11 degree wind chill. They hear stories of a mystical land where the sun always shines, where people are always smiling, where the living is easy, and suddenly they just need to move there.

If that’s you (or maybe a loved one or even a mortal enemy), then STOP! You should really think this over because I don’t think you quite understand what you’re getting yourself into. I’ve composed a very helpful list of reasons why you should probably consider moving to another state (like California because who doesn’t want to live there?). So, seriously: read this list (twice, perhaps) and decide if you really want to live here.

  1. There is literally nothing growing here.

CEBImagery/Flickr Okay, maybe there’s a few cacti, bushes, and the occasional wildflower growing from the dirt but I don’t even know how I survive.

  1. We don’t have any roads. Just dirt.

Doug Kerr/Flickr Yup, that’s it. I hope you have your wagon ready.

  1. Everything here will kill you.

Casey Myers/Flickr Wild animals, scorpions, gila monsters, some of the people. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

  1. We also don’t have water.

Michael Wilson/Flickr And what we do have, your neighbor will waste trying to grow a green grassy lawn to remind them of Minnesota or some other greener place.

  1. Remember how I said the sun is always shining? Skin cancer.

Kevin Schraer/Flickr And if not that, then you’ll definitely see wrinkles at a much earlier age than you hope.

  1. Your skin will dry out from how dry it is here.

Casey Myers/Flickr Hello, lizard skin.

  1. The heat here is awful and you just might die.

Amber McNamara/Flickr 112 degrees is probably the average summer high and there are days where your thermometer will probably break. See? Death is imminent.

  1. Walking down the street on a hot summer’s day means your feet will burn because that heat rises right up through your shoes.

Clay Junell/Flickr Sometimes the asphalt gets squishy which is super fun.

  1. The landscape here is boring.

Federico Moroni/Flickr Nothing to see here, move along.

  1. There are a few mountains but nothing to write home about.

Logan Brumm/Flickr Another mountain? Yawn. I don’t know how those trees survive though because it’s super hot here.

  1. If you think moving here will help you escape the snow, you’re only kind of right.

Kecin Schraer/Flickr That awful snow is a common sight in roughly half the state, plus you’ll even find it in our deserts from time to time.

  1. We do have lots of uranium mines.

Akos Kokai/Flickr Mmm, who doesn’t love uranium ore dust floating into their morning coffee?

  1. It’s still the Wild West out here.

Peter Haden/Flickr Shoot out in the town square at noon? Yup, it’s in my daily calendar.

  1. There is nothing to see or do here.

Moyan Brenn/Flickr Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Jason Trim/Flickr Goodbye, night life!

  1. There’s no history or culture here.

Alan English CPA/Flickr Nothing. There, like, weren’t even people here just a couple hundred years ago.

  1. You’ll find that you’ll never leave once you get here.

Julien Haler/Flickr Maybe you’ll succumb to the elements, maybe you’ll manage to eke out a living here, maybe you’ll find some comfort in living in a tough land. Who knows? Either way, you won’t be leaving.

Okay, maybe we were just a little harsh but the best criticism always seems to come from the people who love you, right? If you want to read a more positive spin on this topic, check out our article 12 Reasons Living In Arizona Is The Best—And Everyone Should Move Here.

CEBImagery/Flickr

Okay, maybe there’s a few cacti, bushes, and the occasional wildflower growing from the dirt but I don’t even know how I survive.

Doug Kerr/Flickr

Yup, that’s it. I hope you have your wagon ready.

Casey Myers/Flickr

Wild animals, scorpions, gila monsters, some of the people. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Michael Wilson/Flickr

And what we do have, your neighbor will waste trying to grow a green grassy lawn to remind them of Minnesota or some other greener place.

Kevin Schraer/Flickr

And if not that, then you’ll definitely see wrinkles at a much earlier age than you hope.

Hello, lizard skin.

Amber McNamara/Flickr

112 degrees is probably the average summer high and there are days where your thermometer will probably break. See? Death is imminent.

Clay Junell/Flickr

Sometimes the asphalt gets squishy which is super fun.

Federico Moroni/Flickr

Nothing to see here, move along.

Logan Brumm/Flickr

Another mountain? Yawn. I don’t know how those trees survive though because it’s super hot here.

Kecin Schraer/Flickr

That awful snow is a common sight in roughly half the state, plus you’ll even find it in our deserts from time to time.

Akos Kokai/Flickr

Mmm, who doesn’t love uranium ore dust floating into their morning coffee?

Peter Haden/Flickr

Shoot out in the town square at noon? Yup, it’s in my daily calendar.

Moyan Brenn/Flickr

Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Jason Trim/Flickr

Goodbye, night life!

Alan English CPA/Flickr

Nothing. There, like, weren’t even people here just a couple hundred years ago.

Julien Haler/Flickr

Maybe you’ll succumb to the elements, maybe you’ll manage to eke out a living here, maybe you’ll find some comfort in living in a tough land. Who knows? Either way, you won’t be leaving.

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