Does anyone remember when the Natural State was called the Land of Opportunity? I sure do. I also remember telling a friend from up north that I “wouldn’t pee in his ear if his brains were on fire” and seeing a looking of confusion cross her face while she tried to figure out what that meant. Below you’ll find fifteen phrases that seem totally normal to us, but are likely to cause similar looks of confusion on the faces of those who ain’t from around these parts.
- “Boy howdy, child, you could argue with a fence post.”
Flickr/Jake Bellucci This one seems really obvious, honestly. The receiver of this designation could start an argument in an empty house. I should know, as I have been told this about a million times.
- “He stays drunker’n Cooter Brown.”
Flickr/Michelle Milla I’ve always wondered what Cooter Brown did to deserve such a low reputation. I suspect it had to do with staying too long in the moonshine.
- “Weight is what broke the wagon down.”
Flickr/duggar11 This response to “wait a minute” has been around since we had wagons, and has remained a mainstay since we all started hauling things in pickup trucks.
- “Grab me a coke, would ya?”
Flickr/TheKarenD Sometimes “coke” means Diet Dr. Pepper or Sprite or basically any carbonated liquid..
- “Bless his heart, he’s dumber’n a box of hair.”
Wikimedia/Doug Kline Even fancy boxes of hair aren’t renowned for their intelligence.
- “Ain’t got the brains God gave a squirrel.”
Flickr/AR Nature Gal This one goes hand-in-hand with someone who ain’t got the sense God gave a goose.
- “Just over yonder a ways.”
Flickr/iwishmynamewasmarsha Our methods of describing locations can leave something to be desired, so folks should consider themselves lucky when we give directions that include going “three quarters of a mile or thereabouts west-southwest on past the old Hitchens barn.” That’s way more specific than “over yonder a ways.”
- “You look like you been rode hard and put away wet.”
Flickr/Dave Thomas This one in particular seems to elicit perplexed expressions. It’s totally innocent, y’all.
- “Don’t mind him. He got a bee in his bonnet today.”
Flickr/Dave Thomas It’s likely someone peed in his Cheerios.
- “She ain’t got the sense to come in out of the rain.”
Flickr/Anna Bless her poor heart, she just doesn’t get it.
- “That’s about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.”
Flickr/Jason Ormand My own grandmother likes to say things are about as useful as a teets on a boar hog, but I always liked the idea of a screen door on a submarine.
- “Don’t you pee down my back and tell me it’s rainin’.”
Flickr/Dave Thomas They could also pee down your leg and tell you it’s raining, but it’s so much better when no one is peeing on you or dressing up bad news to benefit their own interests.
- “Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.”
Flickr/Christina B Castro This is my favorite expression of surprise.
- “I’m about to jerk a knot in your tail.”
Flickr/kitakitts Honey, you better straighten up. The person telling you this is madder’n a wet hen.
- “I could eat the south end of a northbound polecat.”
Flickr/Steven Rodriguez Somebody better fry something, and fast. This person’s belly thinks their throat’s been cut.
For phrases you definitely heard growing up in the Natural State, click here. You should also check out this list of words Arkansans just don’t understand.
Flickr/Jake Bellucci
This one seems really obvious, honestly. The receiver of this designation could start an argument in an empty house. I should know, as I have been told this about a million times.
Flickr/Michelle Milla
I’ve always wondered what Cooter Brown did to deserve such a low reputation. I suspect it had to do with staying too long in the moonshine.
Flickr/duggar11
This response to “wait a minute” has been around since we had wagons, and has remained a mainstay since we all started hauling things in pickup trucks.
Flickr/TheKarenD
Sometimes “coke” means Diet Dr. Pepper or Sprite or basically any carbonated liquid..
Wikimedia/Doug Kline
Even fancy boxes of hair aren’t renowned for their intelligence.
Flickr/AR Nature Gal
This one goes hand-in-hand with someone who ain’t got the sense God gave a goose.
Flickr/iwishmynamewasmarsha
Our methods of describing locations can leave something to be desired, so folks should consider themselves lucky when we give directions that include going “three quarters of a mile or thereabouts west-southwest on past the old Hitchens barn.” That’s way more specific than “over yonder a ways.”
Flickr/Dave Thomas
This one in particular seems to elicit perplexed expressions. It’s totally innocent, y’all.
It’s likely someone peed in his Cheerios.
Flickr/Anna
Bless her poor heart, she just doesn’t get it.
Flickr/Jason Ormand
My own grandmother likes to say things are about as useful as a teets on a boar hog, but I always liked the idea of a screen door on a submarine.
They could also pee down your leg and tell you it’s raining, but it’s so much better when no one is peeing on you or dressing up bad news to benefit their own interests.
Flickr/Christina B Castro
This is my favorite expression of surprise.
Flickr/kitakitts
Honey, you better straighten up. The person telling you this is madder’n a wet hen.
Flickr/Steven Rodriguez
Somebody better fry something, and fast. This person’s belly thinks their throat’s been cut.
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